You don't need to feel confident to start

Why waiting for confidence keeps you stuck and what a tennis champion's routine can teach us about moving forward instead.

“I won't manage it. I don't feel confident enough.”

“I'll do it once I feel confident. Once I'm motivated.”

I hear a version of these sentences almost every week in my practice.

Usually, they come from someone who is perfectly capable of doing what they're considering.

But they're waiting.

Waiting to feel ready.Waiting to feel confident.Waiting for that internal signal that says: "Hey, now you can do it!"

And sometimes, that signal doesn't come.

That's because we often think about confidence as a prerequisite for action.

First, I need to feel confident.Then, I can act.

But it doesn't always work that way.

Sometimes (and perhaps more often we realise), confidence doesn't come before the action. It comes from the action.

Even champions experience doubt

Elite athletes don't necessarily perform because they feel completely confident, calm and in control.

They experience pressure, nerves, uncertainty and difficult emotions too.

The difference may be less about what they feel and more about what they do when those feelings show up.

They have developed ways of continuing to perform even when the internal state isn't exactly the one they would ideally like to have.

And this is where routines become interesting.

What tennis can teach us about confidence

Rafael Nadal is probably one of the most recognisable examples.

Before almost every point, he follows a remarkably consistent routine: adjusting his clothes, touching his face, arranging his water bottles, bouncing the ball in a familiar rhythm before serving.

Fans have watched these rituals for years.

It's easy to dismiss them as quirks or superstition.

And we can't know exactly what Nadal's routine means to him or what psychological function it serves.

But it illustrates an interesting principle:

When the situation is unpredictable, something familiar and repeatable can give us something to return to.

The outcome of the next point is uncertain.

His opponent is unpredictable.

His own performance may fluctuate.

But the routine is familiar.

The same sequence.The same movements.The same rhythm.

It doesn't control the outcome.

It doesn't guarantee that he will win the point.

But it gives him something concrete to do in a situation where so much is outside his control.

And that matters.

You don't have to control the outcome to control the next step

This is often where people get stuck.

When we're uncertain, our attention can become consumed by the outcome:

What if I fail?

What if I get it wrong?

What if I'm not good enough?

What if this doesn't work?

The more we focus on these questions, the harder it can become to actually do the thing in front of us.

A routine can interrupt that loop.

A breath.

A movement.

A sequence.

A familiar action.

Something small enough to be within your control.

The goal isn't necessarily to make the doubt disappear.

It's to have something you can return to while the doubt is still there.

And that is a very different goal from trying to feel confident.

 “Confident or not, doubts or not… I try to play every point with the highest intensity possible.”— Rafael Nadal - 22 times Grand slam Champion

Finding your way back

This is also one of the principles I use in hypnotherapy.

A cue can be associated with a particular state through repetition.

It might be a physical gesture, a breath, an image, a word, or a particular sensation.

The important part isn't the cue itself.

It's the repetition.

When something becomes familiar through repeated practice, it can become easier to access when you need it.

The aim isn't to force yourself to suddenly feel confident.

It's to develop a reliable way of returning to a state where you can think clearly, stay present and do what you already know how to do.

And this distinction matters.

Because waiting for confidence can quietly become another form of avoidance.

You tell yourself:

I'll start when I feel ready.

But what if feeling ready isn't something that comes first?

What if it is something you develop by starting?

Confidence can be built through evidence

Think about the last time you did something you weren't sure you could do.

Maybe you had a difficult conversation.

Gave a presentation.

Started something new.

Made a decision without knowing exactly how it would turn out.

You may not have felt particularly confident beforehand.

But afterwards, you had something you didn't have before:

evidence.

I was nervous and I did it.

I wasn't sure and I figured it out.

I didn't feel ready and I started anyway.

That's how confidence can grow.

Not necessarily from convincing yourself that everything will go well.

But from repeatedly discovering that you can handle uncertainty.

You don't need confidence to begin

Nadal doesn't need to know that he will win the next point before he plays it.

He has a routine.

A way of returning to what is in front of him.

A way of doing what he needs to do, even when the outcome is uncertain.

The same principle applies far beyond sport.

Before an important conversation.

Before speaking in front of people.

Before launching something new.

Before making a difficult decision.

Before doing something you've been avoiding.

You don't necessarily need to eliminate the doubt first.

You may simply need a reliable way to take the next step while the doubt is still there.

Because confidence isn't always the starting point.

Sometimes, it's the result of repeatedly discovering:

I wasn't sure I could do it and I did it anyway.

What if you didn't have to feel ready first?

Sometimes, the goal isn't to get rid of doubt. It's to find a way to move forward alongside it.

If this is something you're experiencing, I'd be happy to explore it with you.